The 'Perfect' Inaugural Speech, As Written by the GOP...

This is an actual forwarded e-mail I received from a member of the GOP, and apparently it's going around like wildfire among the e-mailing capable members of the GOP. At first I was just like "Okay, this isn't so bad", but just read the whole thing. Are they being serious about some of this? Or are they just spreading it around as a joke.

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S.
PRESIDENTAL CANDIDATE, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN, GIVE THE FOLLOWING
SPEECH?

'My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the
Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on
this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of
all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30
days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names
of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This
list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and
Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list.
Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be
distributing copies of both lists later this evening..

Let me start by saying that effective immediately,
foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and
indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty
much pay for the costs of the Iraqi20war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER
IT'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money
into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat
on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to
redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still
have at home. On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw
with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends
from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France
or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic
relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help,
comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mez amies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin
towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more
than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be
stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty
pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets.
Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and
limos be turned over to some of the fine st chop shops in the world. I
love New York!

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2.
Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks
might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. Its president and his entire
corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a
couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess
where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the
NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway.. Immediately, we'll
be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's
oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes
this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move
there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and
its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by
saying, 'damn tootin.'

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent
life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just
about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in
America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. To the nations
on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you an d we won't
forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might
want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night.'

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are
reading it in English, thank a soldier.

(Please forward this to at least ten friends and see
what happens! Let's get this to every USA computer!)